Daverika: June 2009

Monday, June 22, 2009

Happy Anniversary to Us!

Today is our second anniversary! This week we have been thinking about marriage, and Dave even the opportunity to lead an "idea potluck" for tips to a lasting marriage during Sunday school. Here are some summary thoughts from this week.

1. Marriage is a picture of Christ's relationship with the Church (Eph. 5:22-33). As such, it makes sense that the enemy of God would mount an offensive against marriage. Therefore, spouses must actively build into and protect their marriages.
2. Moses allowed for divorce in the case of marital unfaithfulness (Matt. 19:1-12). For a marriage to last, spouses must intentionally remain faithful to each other. Some have referred to this idea as "affair-proofing your marriage."
3. Jesus explained that Moses allowing divorce was not approval of divorce by any means, rather it was a provision made because of the human sinfulness (Matt. 19:1-12). Since failed marriages are linked to failed humanity (i.e. the sin of Adam), spouses must seek to grow in holiness through faith in Christ.

Here are some of the practical, now-try-this ideas from our brainstorming and the "idea potluck":
1. Keep the TV out of the bedroom. End your days together.
2. Do things that your spouse wants to do. Don't wait to be asked 50 times; try to be unselfish.
3. Speak each other's love language. Do things that will communicate love to your spouse in a way that they can appreciate.
4. Take a personality test, or spiritual gifts test, or love language test together. Keep learning about your spouse.
5. Keep you relationship fresh, don't try to finish each other's sentences.
6. Find something you both like to do and plan on having shared experiences.
7. Be intentionally open about your life / Don't live separate lives. Look for opportunities to spend time with friends together, share your experiences at work.
8. Brag to others about your spouse.
9. Pay each other compliments regularly.
10. Use good manners.
11. Memorize scripture together, study the Bible together, and/or pray together.
12. Pray for each other regularly.
13. Don't "stew" over minor annoyances, take care of the problem while it is still small. Plan on a weekly time to sit and talk in a comfortable, non-confrontational setting about how you can be a better spouse/roommate.
14. Be careful/smart about getting into stressful situation together. i.e. Maybe don't try to give your spouse golf lessons.
15. Be sensitive to your spouse when "joking," especially in public. Don't intentionally humiliate or embarrass your spouse.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Kids Need...

After working in the field education for seven years, spending many hours interacting with teens and young people as a volunteer for church ministries, and even having a few years of experience being a young person myself I have begun to reflect on the idea of mentorship and "what kids need" as they grow into adulthood. So far, I have come up with three broad categories.

1. Kids need to hear about God's plan for life, and, even more specifically, about God having a plan for their life. God's existence and even His attributes can be seen in creation, but the Gospel comes through a messenger. God must consider direct communication (information) important since He gave us the Bible. The transmission of GOD's message of hope and change must be passed on!

2. Kids need to see good role models. This includes parents, of course, but in the tween and teen years they need to be able to look outside of the nuclear family to see examples of how to live well.

3. Kids need to feel the love of God in a tangible way. This happens through individuals and through community. Faith and truth are not just intellectual pursuits; they are experiential as well. In fact, a postmodern generation might argue that these are more about experience and feelings than thinking and knowing.

So, kids need to hear and learn about the Bible, they need to have individuals who will take time for them (i.e. mentors), and they need to be part of a supportive community which includes their peer group as well as people unlike themselves. This may sound like a good commercial for getting kids involved in Church. I suppose it is, but what about kids who don't have a church or youth group to go to? I am not talking about kids who dislike church, but rather kids who have no church in their proximity. Kids who live in a country where they can't speak the language or kids whose parents are starting churches on the mission field. That's why I am excited to go to Croatia! I am excited to get involved with missionary's kids and other English-speaking kids living in Croatia. I am thankful that God can use my passions, gifts, and experiences to meet real needs in the world.